Ditullioisms Vol. 2

A quick update, just because my professor was at it again this morning and I want to keep up with him. He gave us these gems today:

When you are walking down the street and a drunk asks you why the sky is blue, you can say, “Ah, it’s due to Rayleigh scattering.”

Talking about the composition of seawater, which includes conservative and non-conservative gases: “What’s a conservative gas?”…silence…”Does that mean it’s Republican? Okay, let’s not talk about politics…”

You are welcome. And sorry to my friends back in Kentucky. Looks like you get more snow. Boo.



The head of the lab I joined for my thesis project is also our physical oceanography professor. He’s from up North and has a thick accent to go along with it. One of the best parts about his class however, is when he asks our class questions and no one responds. He tries to prompt us to attempt an answer by taking whatever it is he’s asking us about and turning it into something that the average Joe on the street might misinterpret.

I, along with my classmates, will be keeping track of these “Ditullioisms,” named after my professor. This is what I have so far:

REMEMBER, he uses a Northern accent with long drawn out r’s.

Talking about hydrothermal vents (black smokers): “What is a black smoka? Is that some black guy standin’ on the street corner just goin’ at it?”

Talking about ages of the oceans: “Why do we say that the North Pacific Ocean is older than the North Atlantic? Is that because it has some gray hair or something?’

Talking about the transport of iron and sediments from deserts into the ocean: “Asian dust–sounds like something you smoke, huh?”

Talking about “HOTS,” or the Hawaii Ocean Time-Series http://hahana.soest.hawaii.edu/hot/hot_jgofs.html: “The researchers wanted the Hawaii Ocean time Series Experiment to be abbreviated HOTSEX instead, but that didn’t fly so well.”

Don’t worry. There will be many more where those came from.